Man, this is gonna give Departed a run for its money.
'.'.'.'.' A 4-Preasher! '.'.'.'.'
Language NSFW
Friday, January 30, 2009
Video: The Untitled Sal Lupo Project - Movie Trailer
The Internets/WTF!?: Thumbman
Look out, internets! It's Thumbman.
Thumbman's Official Site (with a bunch of fun photoshops)
TV: MTV's New Shows Have Me All Jazzed Up
Forgive me if my writing today is a bit odd. I have a cold and am a tad loopy from the drugs.
Let me be the first to say I'm excited about MTV's new Sunday night line-up.
Last night, while watching yet another boring episode of The Real World, I saw a teaser for Nitro Circus. Upon researching today, I have discovered that it centers around the extreme sports lunatic Travis Pastrana and has definite hints of Jackass.
How's Your News? features a bunch of reporters with special needs going around getting stories. Seriously.
And then there's the show that I'm most looking forward to. Rob Dyrdek's Fantasy Factory. Rob and Big was one of my favorite shows on MTV. Hilarious. Well now Big Black is out of the picture, but this show looks like it's still gonna be quite funny. And Drama's office - LOL.
Those three shows, plus The CollegeHumor Show, make up what MTV is calling Sunday Circus. It all starts Sunday, February 8th. Terrific!
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
List/Movies: The Top 10 Worst Movie Edits for TV
Do you find the audio re-dubs of explicit lines from good movies absurd? Then you'll really enjoy The Top 10 Worst Movie Edits for TV
Yep, the classic ones you're thinking of right now are very high on the list, Mr. Falcon.
Link via Gorilla Mask
Stop F*cking Saying: "Douche" and "Douchebag" - Introducing "Swab"
The terms "douche" and "douchebag" have jumped the shark. It's a fact. And I'm certainly not the first one to express the sentiment.
Do a Google search "douchebag jump the shark" and you'll find a plethora of rants by internet writers and bloggers who have all been saying the same thing for months and months. BestWeekEver.tv even did an informal survey in search of a replacement word.
I, like many others, feel that the word "douche" is so fun to say, rolls off the tongue so eloquently, that we have become lazy about finding any appropriate synonyms. As a result, the word has become so ubiquitous that it's gotten to be annoying. It just smacks of unoriginality now. I've always believed that when you start hearing a pop culture phrase/word repeated by network sitcom characters and soccer moms, it's time to give it up.
So for a long time I've been asking myself, "What term can I start using to take the place of douche?" It's gotta be a term that is fun to say, not too many syllables, and, while the original definition of the word could get nowhere near the medical grotesqueness of that of douche, it has to come really close.
Well last night I had a revelation. And today I'm throwing my hat in the ring with a replacement for douche...
Swab.
Wikipedia's entry for swab:
"In medicine, a cotton swab is a small piece of material, such as gauze or cotton, which is used to clean wounds, apply medications, or retrieve samples of body fluids such as blood or mucus."I wasn't even thinking in terms of sailing, but even that definition fits well.
"A nautical term for a yarn mop. By extension, it can mean a sailor, or one who acts like the lowest form of sailor, since the most inexperienced members of a ship's company were assigned to this task."Just now, while doing a Google image search of "swab" for pics for this article, I found (on just the first page of results!) an instructional vaginal swab chart, a male rectal swab diagram, AND a 3-pane picture of dog vaginal smear with a swab. I mean, wouldn't it be awesome if, in a year, that same Google image search would also yield a picture of Spencer Pratt or your freshman year roommate sprinkled in with the others!?
So from now on, I'll be referring to all douchebags as swabs. I encourage you to do the same, if for no other reason then to help enlarge my ego.
I admit that it seems a bit cheesy and contrived right now. But so did "preash" before it caught on. Right?
Softer, better, deeper, stronger.
Note: After posting this entry, I made sure that no one had beat me to the punch on Urban Dictionary. While the sailor reference is there, apparently no one has used it as a synonym for douchebag yet. Winner!
The Internets: Sorry, Mom - I bang the worst dudes
This website is great.
Sorry, Mom (I bang the worst dudes.)
A bunch of chicks send in a pic and short story about the swabs they've slept with and what made the dudes so swabby.
If you're a dude, it'll make you feel better about yourself and perhaps serve as some motivation. If you're a chick, it'll remind you to stay away from the riff-raff and, instead, sleep with higher-quality gents, like myself.
Video: A Gift for Rocco
Too many internet comedy videos are way too long and I end up moving on before finishing them. Props to the creator of this video for realizing that the internet is a medium in which the viewer has an inherently short attention span and you can't drag everything out. Very funny, too.
The Internets: Scriball
OK, one more fun game.
Scriball
Draw a line to lead the yellow ball to the green ball. Simple enough, right?
The Internets: DeConstruction
DeConstruction
Another fun game. You control a little bomb dropping machine. Move around with the arrow keys, press shift to strategically drop your bombs, and press spacebar to detonate them. By the time you use up all of your bombs, the remaining rubble must be below the dotted red line.
This actually becomes a very strategic, difficult, physics-based game towards the latter levels. But it starts off pretty easy and works you into it.
A couple hints: Oftentimes, you'll need to jump just before your bombs go off to avoid being hit with shrapnel. Also, as you go along, you'll discover that there are some things you can kinda climb up and even hide inside.
The Internets: Ragdoll Canon Remake
Ragdoll Canon Remake
This is a really fun game. I just wish there was more levels. Shoot your ragdolls to hit the target.
Chicks/List: The 100 Hottest Women of 2009
Kristen Kreuk
Popcrunch attempts avoid cliche, no longer culturally relevant choices in this list of The 100 Hottest Women of 2009
Good stuff.
Video/Chicks: Hot Chick Reacts to Getting Her Nipples Pierced
Check out this video of a girl reacting to getting her nipples pierced. Yowza.
Language NSFW
It's a shame, too, because she's naturally so beautiful and yet she's getting all these piercings and stuff. Must be a nutcase.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
Music/List: 10 Songs Raped, Murdered by Microsoft Songsmith
Mircosoft recently released a stupid program called Songsmith. You sing any tune into a mic and the program automatically comes up with background music for it.
Now people have taken classic vocal tracks and put them into Songsmith...the result is terrible, terrible computer-created songs.
So check out 10 Songs Raped, Murdered by Microsoft Songsmith
Video/TV: Dog in a Cupcake Trance
If you didn't already see it, prepare to LOL.
'.'.'.'.' A 4-Preasher! '.'.'.'.'
Embedding was disabled, so click here
Chicks/List: The 10 Hottest Female Celebrity Lips
If you can't guess #1 in a list of The 10 Hottest Female Celebrity Lips, you suck.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Video/TV/WTF!?: Verne Troyer Foreplay with a Baby Doll
To avoid any confusion, Verne is the one on the left.
Video: Aziz Ansari Stand-Up
Aziz is 1/3 of Human Giant.
The thread count bit isn't all that amazing, but the second part is hilarious.
Video/WTF!?: Lunatic Baker Sells "Drunken Negro Face" Cookies
This guy is one crazy asshole.
Also, did you notice that the third man-on-the-street interviewed sounds exactly like one of those computer speaking programs? Awesome.
Badass: The 1,474-Megapixel Panoramic Inauguration Day Photo
Prepare to get a nerd-boner.
Check out this article and accompanying zoomable pic - How I Made a 1,474-Megapixel Photo During President Obama's Inaugural Address
It really is amazing. The final pic was 59,783 X 24,658 pixels and nearly 2 gigs in size.
The dude brought it into a flash application so you can zoom and pan. Awesome.
Link via In4mador
Stuff: Venice Under Water
"I just farted!"
Check out these pics of the worst flood in Venice in 22 years. Neat.
Link via Morgan
Chicks/List: The 10 Hottest Moments in Celebrity Boob-Jiggling History
Good morning, friends. See that Google ad up there under The Preash Rating Scale? I get a small amount of money if enough people click it. That's how it works. So if you appreciate the hard work I do bringing you the best of best and you happen to see a link that might interest you over there, please do click it. You assholes never comment, so at least do me that favor. Preash.
Now that we've got that out of the way, how about The 10 Hottest Moments in Celebrity Boob-Jiggling History - Barely NSFW
I was mesmerized by #4.
Link via Gorilla Mask
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Preash: That's Quite a Leap, LaShaunda
I was looking through Facebook today and smiled when I saw this.
Video/Movies: The Watchmen Viral Video
The viral video for The Watchmen is going around the internets.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Music: Kanye West ft. Santogold and Lykke Li
Based on the YouTube description of this upcoming project, I suspect it's gonna be incredibly badass.
"Finally, a track leaks off a project that has me fiending to hear more from N.A.S.A. (North America South America) which is a collective of like minded artists who got together to make great music with heavy Brazilian / favela funk influences. The Spirit Of Apollo sees the likes of M.I.A., Karen O (of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs), Santogold, Spankrock, George Clinton & much more."
Click here for a tracklist and more info about The Spirit of Apollo.
Video: Who is Your Drinking Hurting?
My dad handled these situations much better. He just yelled, "I'M NOT YOUR FATHER!" and threw the lamp across the room.
List/YumYums: The 20 Worst Foods of 2009
Men's Health has a cool list of The 20 Worst Foods of 2009, worst meaning most unhealthy. I'm sure they're probably the 20 Best Foods in terms of YumYumminess.
Movies: I Love You, Man - Red Band Trailer
This looks like it's gonna be very funny. Plus, I find Rashida Jones to be quite a spicy little number.
Language NSFW
Video/TV: Letterman's Farewell to Great Moments in Presidential Speeches
The crazy part? All of these clips came from only two speeches.
'.'.'.'.' A 4-Preasher! '.'.'.'.'
Video/WTF!?: Sassy 90's Woman Shares Her Stupid Phone Ettiquette Opinions
Andy Rooney minus the senility excuse plus a mid-90's elitist attitude.
Go f*ck yourself, lady.
Video: THEY DO WHAT!?
Either this lady is referring to the "terrorist fist bump" or she knows way too much about our new President's sex life. Geez, lady.
Video: Obama Girl and Obama Duet
Never thought I'd hear Obama with Autotune. This is so ridiculous it's actually funny.
The Internets: Google's Gdrive
This could be quite awesome.
Google's Gdrive is free online storage...I'm talking a lot of storage...probably matching the amount of storage in one of today's typical hard drives. Gigs upon gigs. Scheduled for realease some time this year.
Link via BuzzFeed
TV: A Tim and Eric Interview
Video/Music: Young Jeezy and Jay-Z - "My President is Black" Remix Live from D.C.
It's a celebration, b*tches!
/My President is black, my Maybach too
/And I'll be goddam if my diamonds ain't blue
/My money's dark green and my Porche is light grey
/And I'm headed for D.C., anybody feel me?
/My President is black, in fact, he's half white
/So even in a racist's mind, he's half right
/So if you got a racist mind, it's alright
/My President is black but his house is all white
/Rosa Parks sat so Martin Luther could walk
/Martin Luther walked so Barack Obama could run
/Barack Obama ran so all the children could fly
/So I'ma spread my wings, you can meet me in the sky
/I already got my own clothes, already got my own shoes
/I was hot before Barack, image what I'm gon' do
/Hello, Miss America, hey pretty lady
/Red, white and blue flag, wave for me baby
/Never thought I'd say this sh*t, baby I'm good
/You can keep your puss, I don't want to more Bush
/No more war, no more Iraq
/No more white lies, my President is black
/My President is black, my Maybach too
/And I'll be goddam if my diamonds ain't blue
/My money's dark green and my Porche is light grey
/And I'm headed for D.C., anybody feel me?
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Preash: Boone, Snowboarding and Tim and Eric
Boone freezes when I mute the TV because he thinks the TV is being turned off, which means I'd be getting up and he might get the opportunity to go outside. He's chewing on the only toy I've ever bought him that he hasn't been able to destroy.
It was snowing in Charlotte this morning. Apparenlty the first time it has snowed here since '04. If you are a true, hardcore Preasher, you know that Boone gets crunk in the snow from back in the Oklahoma days. Well, now we have the Charlotte version.
And here are a few stills. Sorry if they bore you, but us Southern folk still get excited about snow.
This weekend, Work Dave, Tressel and myself went to Sugar Mountain to snowboard. I had never been snowboarding. We drove two and half hours northwest with rented boots and boards. We got up there at about 11am. We threw on our equipment and got in line to buy lift tickets.
Some pimple-faced kid creeped up to us asked us if we wanted to buy his lift ticket. He said he came up for a competition in the morning and didn't need it anymore. Being a naturally suspicious, not-trusting-anyone person I am, I immediately expressed my disinterest. As did Tressel. But Work Dave is not one to pass up a deal.
He asked to see it to make sure the date on the pass was legit. It was. He said he wanted to buy it but didn't have cash so I stupidly said I did and gave the creepy kid $10. The kid quickly disappeared and I noticed that the metal ring that connects the pass to your jacket was broken. That metal ring is called the wicket. How do I know it's called a wicket? Because Tressel read the fine print on the back of the pass and it said that the pass is void if the wicket is broken.
Tressel and I agreed that that's the exact reason that we always so no when it comes to situations like that. Hell, I don't even trust someone trying to give me something for free. I thought the lady who gave me her extra sandwich coupon on her way out of Firehouse Subs was a terrorist.
I said I didn't want the broken-wicket pass because I'd have to A) Worry about it falling off the whole day and B) Worry about being called out by workers. Even though he didn't lose a dime, Work Dave was pissed. Probably for falling for such an obvious scam. He was bound and determined to find that kid, but Tressel and I pointed out that the kid's probably already home drinking his cases of Miller High Life that I bought him and giggling to himself about the obvious marks that he was able to rip off so easily.
At one point, Dave thought he saw the kid. He ran up to him and asked him if he sold him the lift ticket. The bewildered stranger who, even from afar looked nothing like kid, said no. And Work Dave walked away.
When we got to the lift, Tressel and I, not even knowing how to strap on the board, were forced by Work Dave to get in the lift line. We both wanted to walk over to the bunny slope to at least learn how to stand on the damn thing, but Work Dave insisted with one of his go-to phrases. "Trust me, dude." Which makes you want to do anything but.
Standing with your one foot strapped to the board and one not is extremely awkward and painful. But that's what you gotta do.
We got to the top of the hill and finally managed to strap our boards on. Tressel and I, snowboarding for the first time, were equally terrible. A lot of falling. Not a lot of actual boarding. I didn't mind the falling. I was very padded up and am somewhat of a masochist, so that part was actually fun for me. But the getting back up with your feet strapped to the board - it's a pain in the ass. Very exhausting.
When we got to the bottom, Tressel and I needed a break and some food. He said he had hit his head quite hard two times and also tweaked his knee. We got a little food, then decided to booze a little and watch the NFL games while Work Dave had his fun on the harder slopes. We went upstairs to a big, smokey bar lodge area where a lot of people were getting quite hammered. I guess it's a combination of the thin air and the exhausting phyical activity. After two beers each, we were feeling quite good. I commented that it was "a fine little how-do-you-do."
We met back up with Work Dave with a renewed sense of courage. We went to the bunny slope and I actually started to show a little potential. I could stand up and balance myself pretty well but when I'd get going too fast, I'd just bail and fall. Again, the falling was kinda fun for me. I didn't mind it too much.
Tressel stayed behind while Work Dave and I went on one more twilight run. My last run when a little better than the first, but not by much.
All in all, it was a pretty good time. I like being out in nature and that was one of the main reasons I decided to go along. On the drive back, Work Dave's window was stuck halfway down and I, being in the back, froze for two hours. Work Dave couldn't believe I was actually cold because it was apparently uncomfortably hot in the front with all those vents. Yeah.
Here's a little, uneventful video I took on the way there.
And finally, guess who just bought tickets to Tim and Eric Awesome Tour 2009 in Charlotte on Feb 4th! I'm so pumped. They usually only do smaller college towns so this came as a wonderful suprise.
BTW, the new season of Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! starts Feb. 8th.
TV/WTF!?: Burger King's Subliminal Sex Joke Commercials
Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe I'm looking too deep into this. But last night, while watching Jimmy Kimmel, I witnessed a sequence of events during a commercial break that seemed way too coincidental to be an accident.
So you see father and son burger having "the talk". Then, towards the end of that Burger King commercial, in which father burger gives his son an extra napkin, a freeze from from the proceeding commercial flashes on the screen for a second. "SOUR CREAM....."
I watch a lot of TV, and I work in TV...and never have I seen a commercial interrupt another commercial. It just doesn't happen. Sure, sometimes you'll catch the end of a commercial that has been overlapped by another, but never an interruption right in the middle. Plus, the timing of how the "Whopper Jr. for a buck..." tag comes back in perfectly.
So then we discover where that freeze frame comes from. The proceeding Turbo Tax commercial. OK, so maybe it's all in my head. My pervy, pervy head.
Then I see the next commercial. The white shampoo drops a'flyin'. I didn't see this part, but Tressel said the woman's head looked very phallic in nature (not in those words).
So what does this all mean?
I think it was the clever ad group behind Burger King having a little subliminal sex joke fun. That advertising group, Crispin Porter + Bogusky, is well known for it's cutting edge advertising tactics, employing viral marketing. Remember Subservient Chicken? And, recently, Whopper Sacrifice. And just now, when I was doing a Google image search for some pics of The King to throw into this article, I just discovered that they also did a paparazzi spoof thing with The King and Brooke Burke. See what I mean? Quiet, clever, viral.
So I wouldn't put it past them to figure out a fun way to get people talking, as I am doing now, about the string of commercials with subliminal semen references sprinkled throughout.
But maybe I'm out of my mind. I dunno. What do you think?
Saturday, January 17, 2009
TV: Summer Heights High on HBO
I'm so f*cking pumped right now because I've just now gotten into one of the funniest shows on TV. Summer Heights High.
I first heard of the show in early November when the peeps at BestWeekEver.tv were all about it. It wasn't until this morning, though, that I finally got around to watching it.
Holy sh*t, is this show funny! It's an Australian mockumentary that takes place in a public school, written by and and starring Chris Lilley. He plays the three main characters, Mr. G, Ja'mie, and Jonah.
Mr. G is the gay Drama teacher who is super-serious about performing and is wrought with delusions of grandeur.
Ja'mie King just moved from a private school to this public school. She's spoiled and full of herself.
Jonah Takaluah is a disobediant, foul-mouthed Polynesian student who revels in misbehaving.
Much like the British version of The Office, it seems like a lot of Lilley's acting is improvised but I wouldn't be suprised if, similarly, it was all written and just unbelievably well acted.
It's one of those shows where you could watch an episode more than once and catch something new each time. It's also suprisingly touching...I actually became emotionally invested in the characters of a silly mockumentary show.
The first and only season of Summer Heights High, 8 30-minute episodes, is available on HBO On Demand. I'm sure you can download it via Torrents as well.
Here's the HBO page. If you really wanna dig deep, here's the Wiki page.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Video: Britain's Dumbest Dad
I've never seen anyone look so cool saying "chuffed" in all my life. As a matter of fact, I've never heard anyone say "chuffed" at all.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Video/TV: College Humor's MTV Show Extended Trailer
Think you have a pretty cool job? Watch this video and you'll think otherwise.
I was into College Humor before you even had an e-mail address, but whatever.
The Internets: Obamicon.Me
Paste Magazine has an awesome website called Obamicon.Me where you can upload a photo of yourself and convert to the style of Shepard Fairey's iconic Barack Obama poster.
It's somewhat customizable, too, as you're allowed to adjust the levels of the 4 colors, zoom, tilt, etc.
To save it, they want you to sign up for something, but I would just do a screen grab if I were you.
The Internets/YumYums: Facebook Kills The Whopper Sacrifice Application
Facebook decided to get pissy and kill The Whopper Sacrifice application. Dummies.
Video/TV: Hilarious Clip from The Principle's Office
I might actually have to start watching this show. Funny.
TV/WTF!?: Celebrity Big Brother Desperately Needs to Come Across the Pond
There. No more evidence needed. The UK has Celebrity Big Brother and several of the celebrities are Americans, like Verne Troyer and Coolio.
So why don't we have Celebrity Big Brother in the US!? C'mon! Let's get it going, already. If you ever read Preash, you know I'm a huge fan of the regular Big Brother...what would be better than the show featuring a bunch of pathetic celebrities in the twilight of their careers?
Link via BestWeekEver.tv
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Video: Bob and Ed, The Urgently Screaming Goats
I can't wait 'til they're finally reunited.
'.'.'.'.' A 4-Preasher! '.'.'.'.'
Video: Shockwave Kaboom
I learned in 7th grade science that the light travels faster than sound, and sound travels faster than "HOLY SH*T!"
Video: Rat on a Cat on a Dog
This has been around for over a year and I just now saw it!? WTF?
To quote one of the spectators, "This is the most amazing thing I ever seen in my life!"
'.'.'.'.' A 4-Preasher! '.'.'.'.'
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Video: How to fix a broken plasma screen
Between this blokes clever method of fixing his broken plasma and the spirited chick arguement casually playing itself out the background, I find this video to be hilarious.
TV/WTF!?: Lactacyd Commercial
If there's one point of view I could have gone my entire life without seeing, this would have been it.
I gotta go get some paper towels to clean the vomit off my keyboard, brb.
Via BestWeekEver.tv
Monday, January 12, 2009
Video/Music: Asher Roth Still on the Rise
Asher Roth is still inching his way to the top, slowly but surely. He appears very comfortable being interviewed.
List/Booze: The 10 Worst Types of Drunks
Om nom nom nom
The list of The 10 Worst Types of Drunks is quite funny.
Link via Gorilla Mask
Video/YumYums: Taco Bell Wedding
Dude, you got your chick to marry you in a Taco Bell.
First of all, awesome. Secondly, you got yourself a keeper. I'm jealous.
Whether or not he gave her double the beef at the honeymoon is still unknown. (Sorry.)
Friday, January 9, 2009
Movies: Black Jesus in Bruno Movie
Here's a tidbit of news about a black Jesus character that will be seen in Sacha Baron Cohen's upcoming Bruno movie.
Throwback Thursday: Madballs Commercial
I stopped doing Throwback Thursdays because I kinda shot my load too quickly, if you will. So now I am gonna try to bring it back and only post one, maybe two, per Thursday
Thursday, January 8, 2009
List/The Internets: Wikipedia's Common Misconceptions
#:P
Check out this extensive List of Common Misconceptions because I said so.
Link via Gorilla Mask
The Internets/YumYums: The Whopper Sacrifice
Burger King's viral marketing is always brilliant. Their latest gimmick is a Facebook application called Whopper Sacrifice.
De-friend 10 friends and you get a free Whopper. Those 10 people are then notified that you sacrificed them as friends in order to get your free grub on. Awesome.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
TV: Real World: Brooklyn Season Premiere
The season premiere of Real World: Brooklyn is tonight at 10e/9c. I know I'm not the only one who still gets excited about Real World...am I?
Here's a tour of the house with former castmembers Colie and Johanna in which you also meet the new castmembers. Baya's looking pretty delicious.
Oh yeah, and there's a transgender person. (I almost accidentally tagged this sentence onto the last paragraph, but I felt it needed seperation.)
I posted the trailer a couple of weeks ago but if you haven't seen it, definitely check it out. It's really well done.
Stop F*cking Saying: "Vajayjay" and "No Worries"
Oftentimes a phrase, idiom or word catches on among the mainstream and people start to overuse it...and I begin to seethe. Usually I can't really put my finger on why one word or phrase irks me so much over another, it just does. I've decided to start sharing my grievances with you lucky people because there aren't enough blogs out there on which random dorks at the keyboard air out their menial complaints to the masses.
Let me apologize in advance to anyone who I might offend. Often it's people in my personal life who I hear using these phrases, many of whom are devoted Preashers. Sorry, it's my own crazy hang-ups, not a dig on you.
---
Stop f*cking saying "vajayjay".
It's not a cute, impish way of referring to a vagina. It's stupid. An intelligent, quirky relationship expert came into the Stern Show yesterday and casually dropped "va-jay-jay"...it gave me douche-chills.
It all started when some writer from Grey's Anatomy decided to write it in as dialogue in an episode. The head doctor chick was in labor and didn't want the out-of-the-closet-in-real-life doctor peeping her nether region. "O'Malley... stop looking at my vajayjay!" (I actually used to watch the show at that time.)
Then annoying people like Oprah and Tyra Banks started to say it. If you don't watch The Soup, your a dummy. If you do, you've seen the infamous Oprah line which inspired a short-lived segment on the show.
Now people like your crazy Aunt Karen and the gay dude shopping with his girlfriends at the mall think it's okay to drop "vajayjay" in everyday conversation. It's not.
Anyway, I can happily say I've yet to hear someone say it in real life (knock on wood). But if I do, I can't promise that I won't go completely past the douche-chills phase and end up uncontrollably douche-vomiting.
---
Stop f*cking saying, "No worries."
When I was living in Austin, the cool, hipster thing to say was "Right on." Not in the old school 60's black militant way or the manly, beer-guzzling 70's way. People would say it in a high-pitched, it's-all-good manner. You know it if you've heard it.
Well it seems to me that "No worries," delivered with the same intonation, has become the new hip guy "Right on." And it pains me.
When I go out of my way to thank someone, I don't want to hear "No worries." I wasn't worried, buddy...I was thankful. That's why I said, "Thank you." But now I wish I hadn't. Even a "you bet" or "no problem" would satisfy me...but not "no worries."
Perhaps it's the word "worry," because I also despise the phrase "Don't worry about it" in a certain context. If I ask a favor of someone or apologize for something, I'll happily accept a "Don't worry about it." But when I ask you a question and your reply is, "Don't worry about it," don't be suprised if I try to get you in a rear naked choke. Again, I'm not worried, you condescending prick...I'm curious. Hence me asking you a question and stupidly expecting an intelligent reply.
Not worried
I've just learned that "No worries" is a common Australian phrase that has somehow started to catch on here. So unless you're rocking a short-sleeved khaki shirt, matching short shorts and are happen to be walking around with a koala on a leash, save your "No worries" for the next guy.
You're welcome.
Chicks/List: Top 10 Videos of Female Celebrities Grabbing Their Own Boobs
Check out this kinda fun compilation of The Top 10 Videos of Female Celebrities Grabbing Their Own Boobs
Link via Gorilla Mask
Movies: The Year One info
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Video/WTF!?: The Super Broker Shuffle
Charlie Carson was killed in a violent gang-related shooting four days after this was taped. Sad.
Make sure you hear Paul James' inappropriate soundoff to all Fleischmann's Margarine haters.
'.'.'.'.' A 4-Preasher! '.'.'.'.'
The Internets: Lion Kinging a Chick
This urban dictionary definition for "Lion King" had me cracking up. Haha!
Monday, January 5, 2009
Chicks/List: The 25 Most Shocking Celebrity Camel Toe Moments Ever
I haven't peeped it yet because I'm at work, but I'm assuming The 25 Most Shocking Celebrity Camel Toe Moments Ever is worth a gander. - Surely NSFW
Link via Gorilla Mask
Video: Religious TV Host Badly Pranked
Which one's the host?
'.'.'.'.' A 4-Preasher! '.'.'.'.'
Language NSFW
Preash to Stevie 3-Times, the only person who obviously has more free time at work than myself
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Video/Music: The Top 25 Songs of 2008 Mashup
Your grandparents say it's just a bunch of noise. For once, they might be right. I appreciate the audio editing, though.
Video/Booze: Louisville Chugger
"Cut the top off a whiffle ball bat, plug the small hole in the bottom, pour in the beer. Chug the beer, then spin around the bat for the amount of time it took you to chug said beer. Afterwards, try to hit the empty can and not fall."
Video/Newsish: Katt Williams Rips Into Steve Harvey
Check out Katt Williams ripping Steve Harvey a new @sshole on New Years Eve for some reason. Great stuff.
Language NSFW
Video/TV: Loud, Old, Ugly, Annoying B*tch Acts as You'd Expect on Live TV
One of the "celebrities" who I despise most in the world, Kathy Griffin, let's an inappropriate comment slip towards a heckler on CNN's New Years Eve coverage.
Also, Anderson Cooper admits to knowing the names of the chicks from The Real Housewives of Orange County AND he mutters, "Oh...honey," in just 15 seconds. It's time, buddy.
Chicks: Katy Perry on the Beach Bikini Pics
Hello, friends. Back from a week and half in Sugar Land. Perhaps I'll share a few of the highlights and lowlights when I'm not feeling so bummy.
In the meantime, here's some very exciting pics of Katy Perry in a bikini...a reward for your patience.
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