I was recently asked why I don't Twitter. I immediately snapped back, "You mean why I don't tweet, you dumb b*tch!" Then I said, "This video perfectly sums it up..."
I ask of those of you who use it: Has it every helped you? Would it be disadvantageous to you if you didn't have it (besides being a little more bored)?
I get annoyed enough seeing people's status updates on Facebook.
"Finally done with work. >:O"
"Gettin' ready to go out! Hit me up."
"Beef lo mein for dinner. I love my BF!"
"Just got my hurr did. LOL."
I'm always tempted to reply, simply, "I don't care."
Tressel said it best. "It facilitates the perpetuation of society's self-absorbtion."
Now your arguement may be, "You hypocritcal a-hole. You have a blog. A BLOG...ABOUT YOU!" To which I would point out that I rarely write about myself or my personal life. And if I do, it's a humorous personal anecdote. A quick story. Not, "Gotta finish this milk before it goes bad."
I don't care that you're putting off doing your taxes. And I don't want you to know that I'm doing unsavory things to myself at 2:30 in the afternoon on a Saturday. So I don't tweet Twitter.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Video: The Trouble with Twitter
WTF!?: The Georgia O'Keefe of Prom Dresses
This dress features an "asymmetrical hemline" and a large pink satin sweetheart detail.
The Internets: MiAdidas.com
http://www.miadidas.com/
Create your own, completely customizable Adidas shoes. Badass!
They're not too badly priced either. The most expensive ones, completely customized, are $140. S&H is $12.
They let you start withe several base models so you don't have to waste time learning how to actually engineer a shoe.
Here are ones that I made today...
Crack Rock, $120
Dazzle, $100
Big Preash to Tressel
List: 6 Friends You Kinda Hate
Check out this really funny CollegeHumor article about 6 Friends You Kinda Hate.
Video/TV: The Full 1-900-OK FACE Commercial
What's that? You don't watch 30 Rock. Oh, OK. Makes sense. Says a lot about you. Just stick to My Name is Early, buddy.
Video: 1/2 Price, the Legless Rapper
Swollen AND charred? What lady could pass up that offer?
Language NSFW
Monday, March 30, 2009
Video: Lucky's Funeral
Warning, gentlemn: upon watching this, your girlfriend will immediately demand that you impregnate her. You've been warned.
TV: 99 Seinfeld References in One Painting
See many you can remember. There's a key if you get stuck.
99 Seinfeld References in One Poster
Link via Gorilla Mask
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Video/Music: Bun B vs. Mike Jones in H-Town Rap Trivia
Who knows more about the history of Houston rap - Bun B of Mike Jones?
Friday, March 27, 2009
Video: Dog Milking a Goat
Enjoy this deleted scene from Citizen Kane.
'.'.'.'.' A 4-Preasher! '.'.'.'.'
List: 50 Beautiful Long Exposure Shots
If you're a photography fan, you'll enjoy 50 Beautiful Long Exposure Shots
Link via Digg
Stuff: The Fall of GM - A Visual Guide
Now this I can understand. The Fall of GM - A Visual Guide
Link via Digg
Chicks/Sports: The Ass-ential Babes of the AVP Crocs Beach Volleyball Tour
Sperts!
"What's a spert? I can't wait to see. I'm intrigued. Sperts. Sounds fun."
-Stevie 3-Times
Now that we've got that out of the way, check out The Ass-ential Babes of the AVP Crocs Beach Volleyball Tour
List/TV: The 10 Funniest Freudian Slips in Television History
I love dudes lists! Check out The 10 Funniest Freudian Slips in Television History
How 'bout the talent on #7, huh? #1 is definitely the best ever.
Link via Gorilla Mask
List: 50 Animals Who Hate Baths
Here's an adorable way to begin your Friday. 50 Animals Who Hate Baths
Who knew you had to bathe a guinea pig?
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Music: A Scienfic Look at the 50 Cent vs. Rick Ross Fued
What more appropriate way to encapsulate a high profile rap beef than through New York Times' charts and graphs! Check out this very scientific look at the 50 Cent vs. Rick Ross fued.
Link via BuzzFeed
The Internets: Facebook Caving to User Gripes
Because all you crybabies can't get used to change, Facebook is tweaking its homepage layout yet again.
Link via Digg
List/Sports: The 10 Girliest Sports Fights
Feel better about yourself by peeping The 10 Girliest Sports Fights
Link via Gorilla Mask
List: The 10 Greatest Old School WWF Promos of All Time
For a delightful blast from the past, check out The 10 Greatest Old School WWF Promos of All Time
Link via Gorilla Mask
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
List/Sports: The 10 Worst Cheap Shots in Sports History
What a great way to end the day! The 10 Worst Cheap Shots in Sports History
Link via Gorilla Mask
Video/Movies: Where the Wild Things Are Trailer!!!
Gave me goosebumps, yo.
(Watch it in much higher quality here.)
Video: Homeless Dude's Gibberish is Somehow Getting Me Crunk!
Droppin' knowledge on that ass.
Language NSFW
Video: Sensual Build a Bear
"And tomorrow morning, come along with Ruben as he visits this Twinkie factory with our own Richard Cox!"
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
List: The 10 Most Horrific Russian Torture Devices
Hey, ugly. Check out The 10 Most Horrific Human Torture Devices (excluding Popov - hey-oh!)
Link via BuzzFeed
Monday, March 23, 2009
The Internets: Tacky Weddings
It's gotta be Boston, right?
Feel better about your friends, your family and yourself. Check out TackyWeddings.com
Link via BuzzFeed
Video/TV: Colbert vs. Steele Rap Battle
Colbert's rap is pretty funny, but what the editors did to create Steele's rap was absolutely magnificent. LOL! This had me cracking up. The swagger shout out FTW!
'.'.'.'.' A 4-Preasher! '.'.'.'.'
| The Colbert Report | Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c | |||
| Michael Steele's Rap Battle Response | ||||
| ||||
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Preash/Video: Work Dave's Fire Hack (aka Redneck Soccer)
The hacky sack was losing beads quick. So we decided to give it a proper farewell. You can take the boys outta the South, but you cain't take the South outta the boys.
Click to enlarge
Stevie 3-Times handles the flaming hack with a rake
Work Dave suffered a wicked blister after this stunt. Don't try this at home, children.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Video: Your Alcohol IQ (aka Actors Say the Darndest Things)
"Oooooooh, Michael. You know my brain. LOL."
Video/TV: Colbert's (Accidental?) Twitter Slip on The Today Show
Funny.
I love The Today Show's cheesy tech/internet version of their theme song. Straight outta '99. Sounds like something from Mr. Wizard.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Music Video: Asher Roth - "Lark in My Go-Kart"
Great animated music video from Asher Roth! Asher must have had the exact same childhood I had, because all of these pop culture references hit so close to home.
Bonus points for you if you know who Lark is without having to Wiki/Google it.
'.'.'.'.' A 4-Preasher! '.'.'.'.'
And how about the lyricism!? Goddam, Asher! I'm gonna try not to pat myself on the back once again for sooo calling his success. Oops, just did.
Preash Original: Ryan Cracks Ryan Up
This morning I sent an e-mail to our department that read, "Please welcome our new Art Intern. His name is Kevin Lin. Please don't be intimidated by his intensity. He really is a nice guy." with a link to this video.
While perusing related videos, Stevie 3-Times came across a bunch of videos featuring time freeze and time remapping in Adobe After Effects. This inspired him to try to make a time freeze video of his own. We shot some junk and Mike-and-Ike and Tressel helped us edit it.
Behold the greatest thing you'll see this week. It's perfect. It's seamless. It's flawless.
***A Preash Original***
Preash to Stevie-3 Times, Mike-and-Ike and Tressel
List: 9 Corporate Attempts at "Edgy" That Failed (Hilariously)
Another great list from Cracked.
9 Corporate Attempts at "Edgy" That Failed (Hilariously)
Link via Gorilla Mask
Video: Paul Rudd and Jason Segal Delerious Making Fart Noises
You know when you're so tired that you just become kinda retarded? I think that's what's happening here. Funny stuff.
Video: Evolution of the Batman Logo
Really cool morphs of the various Batman logos through the years.
Music: Lil Wayne and Pharell - "Yes"
If you haven't heard this jam, crank it up. Absolutely ferocious beat. Makes me wanna do something evil in the dark. And it's nice to hear Weezy lay off the auto-tune for a few minutes.
Language NSFW
Video/Sports: Ridiculous White Guy Dunk
He can also rack himself in the nuts doing a crossover!
'.'.'.'.' A 4-Preasher! '.'.'.'.'
List: 50 Animals in Convincing Wigs
My favorite one, which somehow didn't make the list
A great way to start your Thusday - 50 Animals in Convincing Wigs
Video: Dr. Dove Rocks!
...oh, and he also blinds you with a bright light and pokes at your gums with a really sharp hook until they bleed and the blood collects in a pool under your tongue until that hose sucks it up and then Dr. Dove tells you to close your mouth and it feels like the tube is sucking your eyes out through your mouth and he tries to engage you in banal conversation but he doesn't realize that you have an assload of metal and plastic and gadgetry in your f*cking mouth so excuse me if I can't tell you my weekend plans. He has lots of goodies in his treasure chest!
Via Videogum
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
The Internets/Video: When Grandma Attacks
Grandma Josephine loves her whiskey, as evidenced below.
Language NSFW
For more videos of crazy Grandma Josephine, check out WhenGrandmaAttacks.com
The Internets: Bill O'Reilly Dirty Audio Clips
>:-O
Back in '98, Bill O'Reilly wrote a novel about an O'Reilly-esque journalist who gets involved in crime and junk.
Wanna catch an easy sexual harrassment case!? Unplug your headphones, crank up your speakers and play some of these clips from his audio book.
Link via BuzzFeed
List: The 10 Unhappiest Cities in America
Check out The 10 Unhappiest Cities in America, based on depression, suicide, crime, divorce, cloudy days and unemployment.
Link via BuzzFeed
Movies: First 'Where the Wild Things Are' Movie Poster
Don't even try to act like you weren't all about the book back in the day.
Check out the first movie poster for Where the Wild Things Are!!!
Video: Microsoft Shows Us Life in 2019
In the future, there will be goddam fingerprint smudges everywhere! And I won't even be able to read a f*cking newspaper because of my fat, stubby fingers. Sweet.
Link via BuzzFeed
Sports/Politix: President Obama's Bracket
Breakin' ankles
Having trouble filling out your bracket? Why not just copy the President of the United muthaf*ckin' States!?
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
List: 5 Common Ways to Sense Lies to You Everyday
Cracked has the funniest, most informative lists hands down.
Check out 5 Common Ways to Sense Lies to You Everyday
Link via Gorilla Mask
Video/WTF!?: Horrific Old School Drivers Ed Video
You know how on TV shows you always see references to a disturbing, graphic drivers ed video that strikes fear in the hearts of kids? Signal 30 is that video.
Probably tame by today's standards, but...
Link via Gorilla Mask
Chicks/List: The 10 Hottest Female Irish Celebrities
In honor of St. Patrick's Day, check out The 10 Hottest Female Irish Celebrities
Link via Gorilla Mask
Monday, March 16, 2009
TV: David Chase's Next HBO Project
David Chase, the guy behind The Sopranos, is working an HBO miniseries called A Ribbon of Dreams about the early days of Hollywood. Rad!
Link via BuzzFeed
Video/TV: The Commercial That Will Rape Your Brain During the Tournament
If you watched any of the conference championships, you saw it. The McDonald's singing fish Filet O' Fish commercial.
I have a feeling that this commercial will inspire violence in every red-blooded American by Saturday and by the time the teams have narrowed to the Sweet 16, our society as we know it will have broken down to anarchy, ruled by the largest, most powerful men.
Video: Retin-A Acne Rap Commercial
The good old days. In a pre-9/11 world, when being a teenager and having acne was the worst thing kids had ever heard.
Itchy itchin', itchy scratchin' means it's doin' it job!
Movies: Early Bruno News!
22 minutes of Sacha Baron Cohen's upcoming Bruno movie aired at SXSW and the peeps loved it. Supposedly even more outrageous and offensive than Borat.
Links via Pop Candy
Friday, March 13, 2009
WTF!?: Pitbull Armor
"Goddammit."
I know what you're thinking. My f*cking badass pitbull doesn't scare the sh*t out of nearly enough people.
I have your solution - Pitbull Armor
Link via BuzzFeed
Video/TV: Back on Top - Kenny Powers' Training Video
If you're not watching Eastbound and Down, you're really out of the loop.
List/TV: Top 10 TV Fueds
In light of Stewart vs. Cramer, Time has their list of The Top 10 TV Fueds
Link via Gorilla Mask
YumYums: Crazy McDonald's Items from Around the World
Check out this unbelievably extensive collection of Crazy McDonald's Items from Around the World.
Link via Gorilla Mask
Video/TV: Jon Stewart vs. Jim Cramer
I haven't really been up on this story, but Jon Stewart has been calling out CNBC and Mad Money's Jim Cramer recently. Apparently Cramer fought back and called The Daily Show nothing more than a variety show.
Last night, Cramer went on The Daily Show and Stewart went at him pretty hard. Here's the uncensored, unedited interview.
Language NSFW
Preash to Stevie 3-Times and Tressel for schooling me on this
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Music: The Dream - Rockin' That Thang
This is currently my jam.
Make sure you peep The Remix feat. Fabolous, Juelz Santana, Rick Ross and Ludacris.
Click here to listen to the whole album, chock full 'o bonin' jams!
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
YumYums: Free Jack-in-the-Box Fries and Drink
Today only - Free small Jack-in-the-Box fries and drink with this coupon (no purchase necessary!)
Yet another Preash to Mike-and-Ike - damn, fool, you killin' it today!
YumYums: Free New Arby's Roast Burger
Buy a drink and get one of those new Arby's Roast Burgers free with this coupon.
Preash to Mike-and-Ike (he's all over the YumYums today!)
YumYums: How to Make a Bacon and Cheese Stuffed Pizza Burger
"What it do?"
Remember a few weeks ago when I posted The Bacon Cheese Pizza Burger?
Well now here's how to make it.
Good luck with your heart, brah.
Preash to Mike-and-Ike
Monday, March 9, 2009
Video/The Internets: GE Virtual 3D Windmill
Awesome.
http://ge.ecomagination.com/smartgrid/#/augmented_reality
Preash to Work Dave for the link
Movies: The Hangover Trailer
Could be good. Probably won't be, though. Zach Galifianakis is the man, btw.
List/TV: Cnet's 10 Funniest News Reporter Bloopers
Gotta love Cnet's Top 10 Funniest News Reporter Bloopers
Preash to Stevie 3-Times
The Internets: Online Duck Simulator
I accidentally just killed an hour playing The Online Duck Simulator. Sh*ts addictive!
Video: I WANT THAT BOTTLE OF LIQUOR!
He's not drunk, lady, he's got Downs. Try to be a little more sensitive. Jesus.
List/Sports: The Top 10 Most Gruesome Sports Injuries
It's too damn early for this. I think I'll put off checking out The Top 10 Most Gruesome Sports Injuries
Link via Gorilla Mask
Movies: Watchmen Opening Credits
Wanna see the amazing opening credit sequence from Watchmen? Obviously, watching it on your computer screen doesn't do it justice, but click here!
Link via Gorilla Mask
Friday, March 6, 2009
TV/Newsish: Seinfeld Reunion
The cast of Seinfeld will reunite for multiple episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm.
Link via Pop Candy
Thursday, March 5, 2009
The Internets/Music: Thru YOU
This is one of the coolest things I've seen in quite a while. The creativity and talent this artist uses is mind-blowing.
'.'.'.'.' A 4-Preasher! '.'.'.'.'
Thru-YOU.com
Note: The site is back up and running as of 12:27 pm Saturday, March 7th.
This guy, Kutiman, edited together a bunch of unrelated YouTube videos of people playing instruments to make 7 suprisingly musical, very catchy songs.
Just awesome.
Addendum: I'm at home hours after this initial post, still completely awestruck by the brilliance of this. You can tell that this Kutiman guy is talented musician who understands the unique intricacies of multiple genres while simultaneously being a great video and sound editor. I'm so f*cking jealous of this guy's talent. Even when I disregard the amazing fact that it's all amassed from amateurish YouTube videos, I'm still completely compelled by the final musical product itself. **akwardly trying to hide my nerdboner**
This has gotta be my favorite expression of creativity on The Internets ever.
ATTENTION MUSIC INDUSTRY: Hope is not completely lost. Find a few open-minded singers. Find a few intelligent rappers. Find a diversely talented band. And get Kutiman to produce the album. Salvation.
Link via In4mador
Newsish: Blow-by-Blow Account of Chris Brown - Rihanna Beating
Click here to read just how badly Chris Brown beat Rihanna's ass.
Start with line 13 of the 3rd page.
And apparently there are additional, even more disturbing post-beating photos of Rihanna that haven't leaked (yet).
Preash to Morgan
The Internets: Take the Hearing Test
"Say wha?"
Throw on some headphones and take the hearing test.
I could hear up to 16 kHz, but couldn't hear 17 kHz. You? (Don't count the pops at the beginning and end. Just the tone itself.)
As you probably know, your hearing deteriorates as you get older. And being exposed to loud sounds doesn't help.
Remember when teens were using a high-pitched frequency called The Mosquito, The Repeller and Teen Buzz as their ringtone so their teachers couldn't hear the phone ringing in class?
Link via Digg.com
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
The Workplace: Money Marc Says Peace Out
Today is Money Marc's last day at the station. He and his wife are moving to D.C.
We have agreed that he will be my unofficial liaison for the D.C. bureau of Preash. Seeing as he'll be without a job and loving it for a short time, he says he will have time to take pictures and send in various anecdotes.
He insisted on a dedication post on Preash and I happily obliged.
If you will please click here for some very appropriate background music and peruse these pictures from our goodbye lunch. Just take it all in.
Work Dave, Money Marc and Mike-and-Ike fighting back tears
Bawling on the inside (Dilworth Grill Burger Wrap)
OMFG! Funniest sign EVER!
Work Dave let me borrow his cancer stick to vogue with
Good working with you, Money. I look forward to your out-of-work reports soon.